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Posts Tagged ‘married’

Sorry to break it to you and lay down some hard truths.  Not really sure how to tell you this, so here it goes: (i)  No, it really doesn’t happen to everyone and (ii) When she says it was good for her too, she’s lying.

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It’s one thing that they do all the annoying couple things that we hate to see – finish each others sentences, eat off of each others plates without asking, have couple inside jokes, and show more unnecessary and disgusting pda than the Hot Tub Lovers from Saturday Night Live.

However, they have been together so long that it’s arguable that they’ve gotten a little too comfortable in their relationship.  The mystery is gone and the curtain has lifted:

– They’ve started to watch the same tv shows.  Here’s their TiVo show list: Glee, MANswers, American Idol, Secret Girlfriend, So You Think You Can Dance, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and Project Runway.  Surprisingly, the last one is his choice because he thinks Tim Gunn has a “snappy sense of style” and is a “great mentor figure for the designers.”

– They’ve started to dress alike.  Guess which one is wearing Lane Bryant stretch pants and who’s wearing sweat pants, they’ll never tell.  And who can forget Kangol – thank goodness for their matching his and hers tracks suits that come with complementary newsie hats.

– Hygiene has been thrown out the door.  Let’s just leave it at that.

– They’ve adopted the same mannerism.  She watches tv with one hand down her pants and he tries on multiple outfits before heading out to get “just the right look.”

– They’ve imparted useless knowledge upon each other.  He finally knows where the Oyster Fork is located on a formal place setting and she can identify his favorite football team’s “Strong Right Motion 84 Pass-Pitch” play by how the players line up from the huddle.

– Last and not least, they’ve begun to use the bathroom with the door open.  There’s no secrets between them after this.  When visiting them, make sure to never show up unannounced or let your curiosity get the best of you and go into the bathroom with your eyes open.  There are no winners in that game.

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