Posts Tagged ‘kids’

As a parent, all you can do is work hard, teach them well, and hope for the best.  Sometimes your kids don’t turn out quite as you hope they would but you love them regardless.  Sometimes you luck out and they’re upstanding citizens and productive members of society.  And other times, they don’t listen to a word you say, look and act like Bizarro you, and people wonder how you two are related.  In this case, it sucks to be you because your kid just turned out cooler than you.  Now make yourself scarce and go get him a juice box, little man and I have some business to discuss.


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baby bjornHe believes he is a loving husband and doting father.  He would like to carry around the baby to give his significant other the afternoon off.  They’ve got a lot of places to go today: Home Depot to buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that and maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, he doesn’t know if he’ll have enough time.  Other couples pass him in the store and the wives chastise their husbands asking why they can’t be more like him.

However, that couldn’t be further from the truth.  If he was in Look Who’s Talking, his baby would tell him that being carried around in a baby bjorn is demeaning and embarrassing for the both of them.  He would be told by the baby that he is baby cock blocking him with the sweet blond in the stroller with the Elmo juice sippy cup over there.  It’s been on since they passed at the Build-A-Bear Workshop, it continued while they shopped in Baby Gap, and after seeing him in the baby bjorn there’s no chance they will be sharing a mat during nap time later.  The baby would remind him that using a baby bjorn is a gateway to a child leash where no one wins.

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