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Posts Tagged ‘girls’

Although he believes he is slick and no one is on to his act, he’s not that hard to spot from a mile away.  We’re on to every one of his scams, cons, hustles, hoodwinks, gambits, flimflams, stratagems, and bamboozles.  No self respecting man’s man would ever want to try out that hot new tea house down the street, get excited about going shoe shopping, or have a Sex and the City viewing party with themed cosmos.  He’s attempting to put time in with the girls in the slim hopes that one of them will eventually think of him as more than a friend.  He acts like he’s just one of the girls, but we know better.

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Sorry to break it to you and lay down some hard truths.  Not really sure how to tell you this, so here it goes: (i)  No, it really doesn’t happen to everyone and (ii) When she says it was good for her too, she’s lying.

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guy checking out girlHere’s how a typical conversation goes with “That Guy” and a woman: How’s it going “That Guy?”  Hey, eyes up here!  What have you been up to?  Are you staring at my chest?!?  Eye contact!  How was your day?  Did you just check out that girl that walked by?

He thinks he’s really slick and stealthy.  Oops, I dropped my pencil and it rolled over by your foot.  I can’t quite get that box on the top shelf, can you stretch and reach it for me.  It appears I am looking you in the eyes, but I’m actually staring at your chest.  Her back is turned, I can look all I want and make any asinine face without you ever noticing.  She’ll never know I’m staring if I use my peripherals to size her up.  Let me sneak a glance by catching her in a reflection.  I’m wearing sunglasses so I can leer without being noticed.

It may occur in an office, while in class, in a crowded restaurant, or walking down the street.  Whatever move he tries to use, we’ve seen it before and caught him in the act.  He gets flustered and tries to play if off like he wasn’t checking her out.  He gets a nervous laughter and tries to come up with an excuse.  Regardless, deep down inside he knows he was just got caught.

The pervey checkout – the go to move of “That Guy” since 1827.

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