Not that anyone from YMBTGI has ever been to an adult bookstore (cough, averted gaze, scratching the back of our neck…), but this is how we would picture him behind the counter: DJ Qualls and Clint Howard had a child through some miracle of science, then Anne Ramsey (better known as Ma Fratelli from The Goonies) had a child with Steve Buscemi, and somehow in the not too distant future the two disturbing babies hooked up and gave birth to him.
What he lacks in appearance aside, he is able to impress with his almost ubiquitous knowledge of adult movies and “accessories”. He can point you in the right direction for just about anything you want, could possibly want, and now wish you had never heard of after he showed it to you that one time. Whatever you do, don’t ask him what he has in the back for his favorite customers. But hey, if you do ask for some reason, at least you’ll find out how to delicately wrap a package in non-descript plain brown paper.