Nice cowboy hat and belt buckle. What’s up Marlboro Man? You get that hat from the farm? No. Oh, I see, it was a gift from your niece who picked it up from the swag table at the Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus concert last week. And that belt with the oversized, almost novelty, belt buckle – did you win it at the rodeo or from the turkey shoot at the county fair? It was an impulse buy from near the register at Abercrombie & Fitch. At 36, aren’t you a little old to be shopping there? But we digress.
That’s great that you order table service and the most expensive bottle in the place, but didn’t you look around and realize this is a dive bar? That 22 oz. Budweiser Select big beer was a good choice for someone with such discerning taste and a refined palate. Oh, this is a fine dining establishment and martini bar. You look like a tool ordering the $350 drink made with Remy Martin Louis XIII cognac, Dom Pérignon champagne, a dash of orange liquor, and garnished with a sapphire in the bottom of the glass to impress the already drunk bar fly cougar he has been hitting on all night. ‘Nuff said.
Yep, he’s an all around classy dude. Needless to say, keep on trying.