You’d think the skull and crossbones would be enough to let him know that it probably wasn’t the best idea. Maybe the warning, both in print and as read by a narrator, would make him stop and think that perhaps this might not end well for him. Letting him know that these are professionals performing under the supervision of other professionals should have raised some type of red flag. All he had to do was watch the subsequent show to see how it would ultimately end. I’ll start dialing 9-1-1 because he didn’t listen to the warning and did try this at home.
So where did all this (misguided) audacity and bravado come from? After watching a bootleg vhs tape in the early 90s, he decided it would be a blast to start a backyard wresting league. Performing under the persona Hill Street Heathen for about five years, his signature move was a flying elbow off the garage through a burning table. Perhaps it was one too many 2x4s to the back or steel chairs to the head, but when Jackass first premiered in 2000 he took to it like a hipster embraces ironic detachment. He watched ever episode learning his craft and finely tuning his marketable skills – gracefully walking a tightrope over an alligator pit with raw chicken hanging from his jockstrap, effortlessly crashing shopping carts into bushes, and efficiently taking a sledge hammer shot to the groin. However, 2005 and the advent of Youtube tempted him to reach new levels of (pardon the pun) jackassery. Now, in a matter of seconds he can upload video of all of his stunts that he was saving to show to that special somebody. Every car jump attempt, rail slide effort ending in a nut shot, and firework experiment will be on display for millions to see with the mere click of a button. Little does he know, though, that his “stunt” attempts will almost certainly land him on the Fail Blog for the world to watch, critique, and shake their head in disapproval to.
All he had to do was listen to the warnings and not try this at home. Hopefully he will enjoy the next few months in traction and finally take the warning to heart for next time (because obviously there will be a next time). Perhaps one day he too will reach the level of infamy of the likes of the Afro Ninja and other Youtube immortals who have tried this at home and failed. But hey, who knows, maybe he will be offered an opportunity for web redemption on Tosh.0.