You almost feel sorry for him. You almost pity him for what he has to deal with. You almost wish you could take him aside, ask “what are you thinking”, and shake some sense into him. Almost, but not really. He has brought this all upon himself. He has to be aware of the comments, staring, and dirty looks that ensue when he brings her to a social function. He knows what everyone is thinking and says about her behind their backs. His girlfriend is not-so-affectionately referred to as That Girl.
So how exactly did he get trapped into being with That Girl? Although it’s a long and undoubtedly convoluted story, here’s the short version. One of his mutual friends brought her to a party as his date awhile ago. After being with the friend for a few weeks, she began to make the rounds in the group hoping that she would become someone’s girlfriend. Even though he should have known better especially after hearing the details of her sexual promiscuity and neurotic personality from his friends, he ended up taking his turn dating her.
That was his first mistake because everything has gone downhill since then. Wherever they go, she has to draw attention to herself and usually not in a good way. She likes to make an entrance wearing barely there clothing that definitely doesn’t cover up her muffin top or tramp stamp tattoo. Like most guidettes, she looks like a hot mess as she tries to pull off an all Ed Hardy or Juicy Couture outfit with tranny inspired make-up.
Her appearance aside, she is oblivious to the fact that she makes an ass of herself whenever they go out and she embarrasses everyone around her. Wherever she is, drama, tears, and bipolar behavior is sure to follow. She walks into the place like she owns it and everyone should know who she is. She orders copious amounts of alcohol throughout the course of the evening resulting in her becoming a sloppy drunk. She sings along to every song that is played and acts as though the club DJ is her own personal iPod (we get it; you like Katy Perry, LMFAO, and Cobra Starship). When “her jam” comes on, she gets up on a table or the bar and dances ala Coyote Ugly sans the talent or coordination. And make sure to warn everyone in the club if he talks to any other girls or, conversely, they talk to him. She goes from zero to Jerry Springer levels of crazy assuming that the girl is trying to steal him away from her or that he is already sleeping with her. If this happens, hopefully he is prepared to become acquainted with club security and the film crew for Cops.