He spends his days searching thrift stores and his nights pouring over the internet looking for the perfect t-shirt. He has very high standards for his shirts. Regardless of their quality or condition, they at a minimum must be clever, if not ironic. He likes his t-shirts to have a message and tell you something about himself. Here are a few fun and informative facts about him as presented by his t-shirts:
– He was a member of the Whackin’ Wizards team that won the 1986 Buddy C. Clancey Junior High kickball tournament.
– He watches the Thundercats, Captain Planet, and He-Man.
– You’d better keep an eye on him because he supports the Cobras in their epic war against the Joes.
– Jesus is his homeboy.
– He supports his furry friends like the Rescue Rangers, Gizmo, or any of the creatures from Fraggle Rock or Sesame Street.
– His tuxedo t-shirt lets you know that he can be formal and knows when to dress up but relaxed enough to want to party.
– He is single handedly trying to bring back the 1970s retro sports team logos for the NBA, ABA, NFL, and MLB.
– Although he was only three years old, he wants to let you know he somehow got tickets to the 1990 California Raisins concert and worldwide tv event Raisins: Sold Out! Additionally, he must have a time machine in his basement because he has “vintage” concert t-shirts for bands like the Clash and the Rolling Stones from their respective 1983 world tours.
– He does his civic duty by letting everyone he passes know that he believes “Crack is Whack” even though he was born after N.W.A. came Straight Outta Compton in 1988.
– If, perhaps, your weekend if free, his t-shirt advertises that he has two tickets to the gun show. You’d better call soon because they look like they may go fast. He also is offering moustache rides for 5¢. At a price like that, how could you not take him up on his offer!