After stepping out of the minivan, adjusting his visor, pulling out a miniature brush to comb his mustache and straighten his part, revelcroing his sandals over his socks, and reminding everyone to stay with the tour group, he checks to see if he has all the necessities for his fanny pack. An amateur astronomer guidebook? Check. His allergy and asthma medications? Check. A glasses repair toolkit? Check. Coupons for a family style buffet restaurant like Golden Corral? Check.
Most self respecting men only carry around enough stuff so that they can fit it all within their pockets (that’s kind of why pockets are there). But not him; he needs to carry around his necessities. He has to take his favorite Family Circus cartoon with him at all times just in case he needs to be cheered up. He tells you that you never know when you will need sunscreen with SPF 250. And everyone supposedly loves his homemade peanut brittle. Additionally, with so many varieties of chapstick, he needed his fanny pack because his murse (i.e. man purse) didn’t have enough room to hold everything.
He matches his fanny pack to his outfit and how much he needs to carry around. And yes, that means he most likely has more than one fanny pack to choose from.