Similar to Dane Cook, we all question just exactly how Ashton Kutcher got and stayed famous (or at least culturally relevant).
In order to be blinded by his talent and fully take in the awesomeness of his star power, let us take a look at his body of works. He was the star of such stellar movies as Dude, Where’s My Car?, Just Married, The Butterfly Effect, The Guardian, Cheaper by the Dozen, and What Happens in Vegas. He was also the producer / co-creator of the supernatural TV show Room 401 (has anyone ever heard of this?) and the reality tv show Beauty and the Geek (a show consisting of reject girls from Flavor of Love and guys from the Pickup Artist). All Oscar and Emmy-worthy performances here…
Ashton Kutcher is probably best known for his two starring tv roles in That 70’s Show and Punk’d. Everyone can agree that That 70’s Show was a pretty good show; however, the ensemble cast made the show what it was and not him specifically. And that leaves us with Punk’d. Through this show, Kutcher singlehandedly started the Von Dutch and sideways trucker hat craze (both the former standard issue uniform of Guidos and Ed Hardy purchasers everywhere). Using all his creative powers, he messed with celebrities to the point they started to cry, were pissed off, or were about to call the cops. Who would have ever though someone would react to an unnecessarily grand production where they think their car was destroyed or they inadvertently injured someone after a chain reaction of inexplicable events. With the show lasting nearly 70 episodes, America’s judgment must clearly be questioned.
Since Punk’d, what exactly is it that Ashton Kutcher does? For a few weeks, he was in a well publicized race with CNN to be the first person to get 1M twitter followers. If no one has told him yet, no one cares that he has 3M plus twitter fans because most of us have better things to do than read the minute to minute updates of hanging out with Bruce Willis and P. Diddy.
He also posts regularly on his blog where he tells his fans what he is up to and working on. Here is an excerpt of a posting (which is also continued on his twitter page) where he complains about his neighbor doing construction on his house with the work beginning early in the morning: “It’s 7:30 AM and I get to wake up in my bedroom to my f*cking jack*ss neighbor…doing this next to my porch… Right up there, that’s my bedroom. This is where my d*ckweed neighbor has decided to be building a house at 7AM, pounding on steel and welding right next to my frickin’ house…” [check out the Huffington Post for the video and twitter transcript] One can only hope that the pea under your mattress didn’t further interrupt your beauty rest.
Somehow while all this was going on Kutcher found the time to marry the OG Cougar, Demi Moore. Although she looks great for a 47 year old, it does make you stop and think who got the better end of the deal after seeing the twitter picture he posted of her wearing granny panties and the (in)famous picture brought back by Daniel Tosh of Tosh.0 of Demi in the 80s.