He is faced with a difficult dilemma – he’s hungry and not sure where to go. On one hand, he could stay in and have a Hungry Man dinner while watching the American Idol results show. On the other, he could go to the local sports bar with his buddies to watch the big game on the plasma flat screens and have a few drinks. What will he choose? He selects the third option – he goes to Hooters by himself to see his best gal Cristal (yes, her name is spelled like the champagne).
He’s been going to the local Hooters weekly for the last four months to see her. He’s been hooked ever since he first went there to celebrate Jimmy from Accounting’s birthday and she was introduced as their server. He was taken aback by her beauty and how good she looked in her orange hot pants with tights. He was so awe struck that he made the mistake of saying everything you should never say to a Hooters Girl. He erred and made such rookie mistakes as ordering “… a 10-piece wing, hot, breaded, with blue cheese, an order of curly fries, and a side of you!”, telling her “You’re gorgeous! You should be a model!”, and asking her “Can I have your number?”
He is blinded by love and won’t listen to reason when you try to tell him that she’s not into you. But she remembers my name he says. Well, you’re in there at least once a week and even the clerk at the adult book store which you frequent knows your name because you’re always there. But she brings me beer and blue cheese refills. Everyone gets them. But she calls me “suge”, “hon”, or “lover”. She and ever other Hooters Girl call male patrons that. Also, that’s number two in the Hooter’s training manual under how to get a good tip from a sad, lonely guy. But she flirts with me whenever she stops by my table. Rule number one in the manual to get good tips is to do the “lean and squeeze” when she stops to chat with you at your table.