Whether it’s the first tee at the Masters or the seventh hole at Adventure Landing Miniature Golf at the Jersey Shore, “That Guy” will be there. It could be a tee shot on a 650 yard hole or a two foot tap in putt, “That Guy” will be there. It could be the world’s toughest tournament – “Held in Socorro, New Mexico, the tournament consists of exactly one hole, and the target is a 50-foot circle… The tee to that hole is 2,550 feet up the side of a mountain, and nearly three miles from the green.” – “That Guy” will be there. It may even be one of, if not the, world’s most difficult holes in golf – “The course’s so-called ‘Xtreme 19th’ hole is a par 3 – a par 3 whose tee is atop a cliff on Hanglip Mountain, more than 1,400 feet above a green carved like the continent of Africa. You’ve got to take a helicopter to get to the tee box, and from there it’s more than 630 yards to the pin. Once you tee off, it takes nearly 30 seconds for the ball to hit the ground.” – and “That Guy” will be there.
Regardless of the difficulty of the shot or the hole, “That Guy” will be the one on the golf course yelling “get in the hole!” It doesn’t matter that there is no plausible way due to the laws of physics and thermodynamics that the ball could even conceivably go in the hole. Most sources found say the chances of hitting a hole in one are approximately 3,000 to 1 for a Tour player, 5,000 to 1 for a “low handicapper,” and somewhere around 12,000 to 1 for an “average player.” But when you’re “That Guy,” you can’t be bothered by minor details like physics and statistical analysis.
Then why does “That Guy” do it? A rather simple explanation is that he just wants to be “That Guy” and hopefully hear himself on television. Another more plausible explanation is that after putting on his best argyle socks, tight brightly colored slacks, polo shirt, and golf club manufacturer visor; sitting next to the green in the grandstands in the direct sun for eight hours without moving suffering from the onset of heatstroke; and drinking his fifteenth MGD (the official tournament sponsor), there’s not much “That Guy” can do but yell “Get in the hole!”