Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you’re doing and listen. Cannonball! [Anchorman – The Legend of Ron Burgundy].
Anytime a new movie comes out that is extremely popular or culturally relevant, “That Guy” takes it upon himself to quote the movie incessantly for the next six months. He uses every opportunity to slide a quote into the conversation whether it actually fits or not. Quite often the quote that he chooses comes directly from the movie’s previews so everyone is already familiar with it regardless of whether they have seen the movie.
For some reason, “That Guy” seems to frequently choose the latest Will Ferrell movie to reference ad nauseam. Note that if there is a recent Sacha Baron Cohen, Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, or Ben Stiller movie out, he may intersperse references to these in his conversation as he waits for the perfect opportunity to say “Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said ‘I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.’” [Talladega Nights – The Ballad of Ricky Bobby].
If you ever try to stage an intervention and confront “That Guy” regarding his excessive use of movie quotes, the conversation may sound something like this:
You: Hey man, I need to talk to you for a second.
That Guy: You think you need to talk to me, well “[i]n the annals of history people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint Michigan Mega Bowl.” [Semi-Pro]. What’s up?
You: There you go – it’s all this quoting of movies. That’s all you do. You really need to cut it out; you’re starting to sound like “That Guy.”
That Guy: “I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?” [Step Brothers]. I don’t have a problem; I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong. I’m quoting hilarious movies and sounding pretty clever as a work them seamlessly into the conversation. You just don’t get it, “[n]o one knows what it means, but it’s provocative…” [Blades of Glory].
You: Dude, you really need to cut it out. We’re all sick and tired of this. If you don’t drop the quotes we’re going to cut you loose because we can’t deal with it anymore.
That Guy: I never really looked at it that way. I’ll try to cut back on the movie references.
You: Thanks. We’re good here; we’re cool.
That Guy: “[I]t’s cool man, bring your green hat!” [Old School].
You: <saying nothing you just shake your head in disapproval>
It’s okay to gently remind “That Guy” to take some off from quoting movies every now and then. He will be surprised by how much more free time he has. You ask him what he’ll be doing with all his newly found free time this weekend and his answer will invariably be “[w]ell, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we’re going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don’t know, I don’t know if we’ll have enough time.” [Old School].