Your kid is cooler than you

As a parent, all you can do is work hard, teach them well, and hope for the best.  Sometimes your kids don’t turn out quite as you hope they would but you love them regardless.  Sometimes you luck out and they’re upstanding citizens and productive members of society.  And other times, they don’t listen to [...]

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You multitask in the bathroom

He’s all for efficiency and saving both time and resources.  He’s no time thief.  On a daily basis, he asks himself “…for every decision [I] make, is this good for the company?  Am I helping with the company’s strategic vision?” That’s great he is so committed to the company and what he does. But really, [...]

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You’ve gotten a little too comfortable in your relationship

It’s one thing that they do all the annoying couple things that we hate to see – finish each others sentences, eat off of each others plates without asking, have couple inside jokes, and show more unnecessary and disgusting pda than the Hot Tub Lovers from Saturday Night Live. However, they have been together so [...]

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You yell at the screen in the movie theater

No!  Don’t go in there!  They’re right behind you!  That’s what she said!  Run, bitch, run! He has modeled his movie going experience after Statler and Waldorf from The Muppet Show.  Thinking it is his own personal Mystery Science Theater 3000 and he’s sitting front row center between Crow and Servo, he throws up zingers [...]

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You are not a good dancer

Although he thinks that with his dance and breaking skills he should be in the finals of the Red Bull BC One b-boy battle, when he gets out on the dance floor the question arises as to who will get hurt first – him or those dancing around him.  Although he has “mastered” the likes [...]

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You try too hard

Nice cowboy hat and belt buckle.  What’s up Marlboro Man?  You get that hat from the farm?  No.  Oh, I see, it was a gift from your niece who picked it up from the swag table at the Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus concert last week.  And that belt with the oversized, almost novelty, belt [...]

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You have trouble growing facial hair

It’s coming in here and here, but not so much here, here, and here.  Should we tell him that it’s not quite as full and luxurious as he believes?  Maybe that moustache comb as a gift is a little premature.  By the way, Johnny Depp called and he wants his facial hair back.

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You are the creepy old guy at the club

You and your friends decided to switch it up a little and not go to your regular hangout.  Instead, someone suggested going out to the local bar with a DJ and dance floor.  Sounds good everyone thinks; however, little did they know those were famous last words.  You arrive, get a lay of the place, [...]

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You are in front of us in line and pay in all change

You son of a bitch.  You would, wouldn’t you.  This isn’t the Mushroom Kingdom and you certainly aren’t Mario so put away all your dirty gold coins.  Not cool dude, not cool at all.

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You didn’t listen to the warning and did try this at home

You’d think the skull and crossbones would be enough to let him know that it probably wasn’t the best idea.  Maybe the warning, both in print and as read by a narrator, would make him stop and think that perhaps this might not end well for him.  Letting him know that these are professionals performing [...]

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