The guido is located almost exclusively in New York or New Jersey and rarely travels outside of the tri-state area. Only during the summer months does he travel outside of his natural habitat to migrate east to the Jersey Shore where he rents a house for the entire summer with twenty other guidos or guidettes (female guidos).
During the fall, winter, and spring, you will most likely find him working in the food service industry or doing some kind of construction. When not working, he will spend his time at the gym lifting weights in anticipation of summer or visiting a tanning salon until he gets an unnatural shade of brown (or orange if he self tans because he has a bodybuilding contest this weekend in Atlantic City). Some say he is nocturnal because he is spotted at dance clubs every evening that focus exclusively on club, house, hip-hop, or eurotrash music. His favorite dance move is the guido fist pump which consists of pumping a clenched fist in the air to the beat of the music as you take off your shirt to show off your unnaturally tan and ‘roid ripped body. His drink of choice is Miller/Bud Lite or anything that contains either Jägermeister or Red Bull.
He is very easy to spot. As already mentioned, he will be unusually tan or orange in color and muscular from being an amateur body builder. His hair will be exceptionally gelled and almost certainly spiked up. He will be wearing some kind of gold chain around his neck and oversized fake diamond earrings in both ears he most likely borrowed from his guidette sister. His outfit consists of designer name brand jeans or trackpants and a shirt with a zipper that is so tight that it must have been bought at Baby Gap for Guidos (otherwise he wears a tanktop, an unbuttoned shirt, or no shirt at all). When a picture is taken of him, he most likely leans back and puckers his lips for no apparent reason.
If you are still unsure how to spot him, see the excellent documentary Guido Beach.
I never have understood the whole puckering the lips thing. To me, it just screams, “I really want to look heterosexual, but I’m not sure how.”
[...] the scalp line or the unusually brown palms of his hands. There is a very good chance he is a guido or amateur bodybuilder so watch out for ‘roid rage if you do point this fact [...]
[...] Guy” wears his Ed Hardy shirt out to a night club party he is promoting, out with the other guidos at the Jersey Shore, at the big UFC fight when his Tapout shirt is dirty, or when he is heading out [...]
[...] male or female individual who contains hipster tendencies and characteristics (compare this to the Guido/Guidette [...]
hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To all you “That Guys” – you might want to lose the black tape and try a bag over your heads because you are butt ugly.
Love your style. I haven’t stopped laughing!
[...] Hahaha June 25, 2009 Filed under: Uncategorized — iamsyc @ 7:19 AM You Might Be That Guy If You Are a Guido [...]
ED Hardy shirts, Affliction, fake tans, blown out hair….all characteristics of the Guido
[...] started the Von Dutch and sideways trucker hat craze (both the former standard issue uniform of Guidos and Ed Hardy purchasers everywhere). Using all his creative powers, he messed with celebrities to [...]
im no guido but why do you hate everybody out there. it just makes you sound bitter. reading your posts i cant help but wonder what your style is or how you dress . im more of a stoner myself . what are you like? sorry i sound like a jerk i just get defensive when i hear a particular group of people getting picked on. i hope by guido you didnt mean italian . because i hate racisim ( cant spell for shit ) .
Hey, This is a great thread. I found you on bing. Keep up the work.
What you wrote here is pretty dumb. Makes you sound jealous of “Guidos”.
I bet you get NO PUSSY, dress like a BUM and you probably don’t have much money.
Don’t be a hater. And if you are referring to Italians by any of this then you need to rethink about what you have posted here.
diamon earrings would be the best thing that you could give a girl, they love it`’;
Great! loved it.. LIKE :>